I gave myself a two day extension to this Wednesday’s “Working Mom” post, because, well I was exhausted. Thankfully nights are rare when Olivia keeps us up, but we had two bad nights in a row. And I do mean bad, as in she was awake from 11 PM to 6 AM one night and until 4 AM the next. So I couldn’t think clearly enough to write.
I also wasn’t sure if I wanted to broach this subject for the blog entry….
I know most of you come here just for cute Olivia stories and pictures (and who can blame you) but sometimes things need to be said.
Regardless of the reasons for being a working mom (and even that title is misleading as it implies stay at home moms [SAHM] don't work, which is NOT true) or the reasons for being a stay at home mom, it is hard dealing with the comments from other moms. People who do not know your specific situation judge you based on whether you are a WM or SAHM. Recently, a very sweet mom I met told me her reasons for staying at home which was that she couldn’t bear to have someone else raise her children and miss all the little moments. She didn’t know I worked outside the house and there was a bit of awkwardness when she found out I did. I get that she didn’t mean to upset me, but it did-a lot. Even if I am not with Olivia 24/7 I am still the one raising her. And yes, I may not be there for all the little moments (which is hard to deal with) but I still see little things Olivia does when I am home (Mark and I have worked together to make a schedule so that I can maximize my time at home with Olivia).
This conversation reminded me of a MSN article about the 10 things to never say to a working mom and the 10 things to never say to a stay at home mom. I wish everyone would read both. At times, both types of moms are at fault for saying things that intentionally or unintentionally hurt other moms' feelings regarding the choice of working. When it boils down to it, regardless if you work outside the home or not, we all have the same goals-which are to raise our children the best way we possibly can so they become healthy, happy, thriving adults. And I believe that you can do that as a working outside the home mom or a stay at home mom.
2 comments:
Hey Nicole! I was just on Victoria's blog and decided to come over and visit and this post really grabbed me. I am SO with you on this! I am a stay-at-home mom now, but I was a working mother in the beginning. So even as a SAHM, it bothers me to sometimes hear things that seem to be faulting a working mother. Since I planned on BEING a working mother, I certainly don't think there is something "wrong" with it. When I made the decision to be a SAHM, I was worried about being judged by my working mom friends. It's so hard to feel like anyone would fault us for being the best mothers we know how to be. And there are so many different circumstances that go into any decision. You most definitely are the one raising her, and I am sure doing a WONDERFUL job of it! (Loved this post and sorry a practical stranger is leaving you such a long message! :)
Thanks Kate! I am glad you checked the blog out. I checked yours out as well and love it! It is fun to read other mom blogs-I get some of the best ideas for activities to do with Olivia from moms I have never even met!
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